All relationships in the world have cause and effect.
it is sometimes difficult to get along with others.
with different angles and positions, there will be many misunderstandings and contradictions.
there is a sentence in Zengguang Xian Wen: blame yourself with the heart of blaming others, and forgive others with the heart of forgiving yourself.
only when you give your heart, can you get your heart.
change your heart and understand people
in the "Thirteen invitations" program, Xu Zhiyuan went to interview Cai Lan.
when two people walk in a narrow street, talking and walking at the same time, the videographer follows the camera almost inseparably.
at that time, Xu Zhiyuan asked Cai Lan whether he felt uncomfortable.
Cai Lan said very calmly that it was okay to let them shoot freely, and even reminded the videographer to pay attention to safety.
it turns out that when he was young, Cai Lan also worked as a videographer. He said that he had filmed some young stars. At that time, they were deliberately naughty in front of the camera, which made it very difficult for him.
it is precisely because he knows that this job is not only hard, but also particularly annoying, so he has empathic understanding and understanding.
in fact, the hardest thing about being a human being is that it is not easy to feel sorry for others.
if you don't think of others, you don't see other people's difficulties, you don't put yourself in other people's shoes, and it's hard to understand their plight.
once Feng Xiaogang went out with Ge You.
A young man walked around the two men several times, and then he tentatively asked Ge You, "Ge You?"
Ge You nodded politely, and the young man immediately hurriedly felt all his pockets, and finally found a piece of folded white paper and said, "Sorry, this is the only piece of paper."
it turned out that the young man was looking for Ge You to sign his name. Ge You, while signing, comforted the young man with a smile: "it's all right, it's not an IOU."
when the young man left after signing, Feng Xiaogang sighed with emotion:
"I really didn't expect that an actor would not have such patience with your fame and status!" How can you be so polite to all your fans?
Ge You looked at him and said in a rare earnest tone:
"this is the thing, for me, maybe for the 50th time, for him, this is the first time."
there is a saying:
there are many moments when you have to think about it from the other person's point of view in order to give others real understanding and respect.
on the surface, this is a kind of extremely high EQ, in fact, it is a kind of upbringing and kindness to the bone.
heart to heart
in this world, people are all mutual.
what you do to others, others will do to you.
there is a saying in the Analects of Confucius: "do not do to others what you do not want."
the way you don't like people, others don't like either.
the attitude you do not accept will not be accepted by others.
Lv Bu and Liu Bei were friends during the three Kingdoms, but then there was a gap between them, and from then on there was a gap between ourselves and the enemy.
so Lv Bu asked Yuan Kui, one of his celebrities, to write a letter to scold Liu Bei, but Yuan Kui refused.
at that time, Lv Bu put a knife to Yuan Yuan's neck, but Yuan replied with a smile:
"I only heard of people who were ashamed of virtue, but I had not heard of torturing people with insults.
if Liu Bei is a gentleman, he will not be ashamed of the general's abuse.
if he is a villain, he will certainly repay you in the same way, then abuse will fall on your head. "
when a conflict occurs, we may want to hit and retaliate against each other in the first place.
but if you keep entangling each other, there will be no real winners.
during the Spring and Autumn period, Wei and Chu were adjacent to each other, and villagers in both countries liked to grow melons.
Unfortunately, the weather was relatively early this spring, and the melon seedlings grew very slowly due to lack of water.
so some villagers in the State of Wei carry water to water melons every night.
after several days of continuous watering, the melon seedlings grew much better, much higher than those planted by the villagers of the State of Chu.
the villagers of the State of Chu were so jealous that some people sneaked into the melon fields of the villagers of the State of Wei at night to step on the melon seedlings.
when the people of Wei were ready to give tit for tat, a doctor named Song Cai said:
"if you must take revenge, you will solve your hatred at best, but they will not give up in the future." if this goes on, the two sides will destroy each other, and no one will have a good harvest. "
then Dr. Song took the villagers to water the melon fields of the Chu people every night. after that, the villagers of the two countries settled their differences and became friends with each other.
the way people get along with others lies in mutual respect.
if you give sincerity to others, they will return it to you.
but if you give others malice, they will only get worse.
Don't treat people in a way you hate. This will only lead to greater dissatisfaction and intensify greater conflicts.
only if you are willing to show your sincerity and sincerity, the other person will put aside his grievances and hatred, and will be able to make reconciliation and concessions.
heart to heart
French thinker Rousseau once said:
everyone yearns for the understanding and support of others.
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only by comparing your heart to heart can you gain the hearts of the people.
what a person can get is what he pays for others.
I have seen such a story.
in the 1920s, the United States experienced a Great Depression.
most small and medium-sized enterprises have closed down as a result, run by a man named Clinton.The gear factory is also trapped.
at the moment of life and death, Clinton very much wants to find some clients and friends to help him come up with ideas, think of ways, and give himself some financial assistance and assistance.
so he wrote a lot of letters, ready to send them to customers, but when he finished the letter, Clinton suddenly found that he could no longer afford stamps to send the letter.
so he thought to himself that other people's conditions and situation might be very difficult, and even if he wanted to help him, he might refuse to reply because he was reluctant to buy stamps.
then he immediately sold his family's belongings and bought a lot of stamps. When he sent the letter to the customer, he attached two dollars as stamp money in reply.
later, when these customers and friends received the letter, they were moved by the two dollars, so everyone extended a helping hand and tried their best to help him, and finally his gear factory was able to tide over the difficulties.
in an interview with reporters afterwards, Clinton said that he did not expect that this negligible two dollars would bring him so much good luck and opportunities.
but for those people, these two dollars reveal that Clinton is worthy of friends, help, support and trust.
in life, we often complain about the apathy of the world.
in fact, the relationship between people is what kind of cause, what kind of fruit.
if you are kind to others, they will pay you back.
if you are kind to others, they will return some truth to you.
if you don't think of you, others won't think of you.
if you don't share it for others, others won't do it for you.
there is an old saying: "those who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them."
in dealing with the world, no matter how many tricks and tricks you have, they are not as useful as you to understand and understand others.
after all, the human heart can only be exchanged with the human heart.