When you are more and more silent, you don't want to say it.

/July 2022

someone in Zhihu asked: why do people like silence as they get older?

there is a highly praised answer:

the older you get, the more you experience, but the more silent you are. Obviously there are a lot of things to say, but to the mouth, and swallowed; clearly misunderstood, but do not explain, continue to live a life.

not getting old, but looking down on a lot of things and seeing a lot of people.

it is better to be silent for the rest of your life than to be noisy.


there is no need to say

when I was young, I had less experience, always cared about other people's opinions, was busy explaining when I heard gossip, and was eager to argue when I was misunderstood. On the contrary, I said more mistakes than I could argue.

not all fish live in the same sea, not all people can compare their hearts to each other and think of others.

those who understand do not need to explain, but those who do not understand need not explain.

there is a figure named Fu Bi in the Northern Song Dynasty, which is famous for being good at debating.

one day, a poor scholar stopped Fu Bi in the street and said, "I hear you are eloquent. Let me ask you a question."

Fubi had no sulk on his face, and Wensheng replied, "Yes, please."

"what should you do if someone openly insults you?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear it."

the man laughed at Fu Bi as a turtle who had shrunk his head, got a false name, and turned away.

the servant on one side was anxious: "this man is so rude, why don't you retort?"

Fu Bi said, "this man came with anger." If I argue with him, I must be blushing. Even if he was defeated by the quarrel, he was not convinced. Why should I contend with him when it is so futile? "

ridicule and scold, don't take it too seriously, you know yourself, it's enough to know yourself.

right and wrong, there is God's judgment, let him laugh, let him scold, I laugh from heaven; regardless of its east and west wind, I stand still, do not change my way of life.

time is silent, but you can always answer all questions; silence is the best response.


if there is, it cannot be said that there is a passage in the movie

the View of Love and Marriage in an era.

the hero Charles met a simple friend at a party. Charles wanted to get acquainted with him. After a few pleasantries, Charles found a topic and asked with concern, "how is your girlfriend?"

my friend smiled and said, "she is no longer my girlfriend."

when Charles heard this, he immediately comforted him: "Don't be sad, people say she's been having an affair with Tauby."

at this time, the friend's face was cold and shocked, and he said, "she is already my wife!"

the atmosphere suddenly became so awkward that Charles wanted to dig a hole and run away at full speed.

keep your heart alone and keep your mouth shut in the group. Speaking with caution precisely reflects a person's sense of proportion.

everyone has a mouth. But just because you can talk doesn't mean you can talk; just because you talk too much doesn't mean you're right.

being able to speak is a skill; knowing to be silent at the right time and keeping your mouth shut is not only a realm, but also the most difficult practice in one's life.


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there are some things I don't want to say

the writer Yishu once said:

silence is golden. Do not make noise, do not speak out, have the power of silence.

Fan Zhongyan, a famous scholar of the Northern Song Dynasty, lost his father at the age of one, and his mother remarried and was forced by life, so he followed his mother and lived a life of dependency.

the stepfather's child ridiculed him, and the children around him laughed at him. When he was young, he read every day and night, and when he was extremely sleepy, he watered his face with cold water to dispel tiredness.

he cooks a pot of sticky porridge and divides it into two porridge when it gets cold. He eats one in the morning and evening, mixed with a little chopped leek and salt, which can be regarded as a "good meal".

such an unbearable life for ordinary people, Fan Zhongyan never complains or tells outsiders.

even his stepfather was impressed by his tenacity.

the depth of the water is silent, and a man is silent. In the face of the wind and waves in the bitter sea of life, do not howl around, do not complain with others, is not tired, do not want to cry.

instead of complaining, it is better to solve the problem. Replace murmur with silence, practice and precipitate in silence, and quietly reflect and digest when you are alone.

Silence is a silent but majestic force. It can teach you to be strong, break through in the dark night of suffering, and eventually be born again and brightly.

Haruki Murakami has a famous saying:

embracing silence is the only way of life.

probably everyone who sees the truth of life has turned his life into a "silent mode", fearless, fearless, and silent.

be a flower blooming only for yourself, blooming in silence and enjoying it quietly.