Upbringing can't be faked (good in depth)

/August 2022

the United States has done a very interesting experiment.

the experimenter installed a camera on a street corner.

everyone who walks by is quiet and elegant, and even picks up rubbish on the ground.

but when the monitoring is taken away, there is a lot of rubbish on the roadside and street corners.

there is a saying: "I stand with my back to the sun in order not to let others see the shadow behind me."

everyone in front of others will habitually put away their flawed side and only show their own beauty.

however, see self-cultivation for details.

A person's real upbringing cannot be faked.

it is not only the constraint in front of people, but also the self-discipline after people.

every detail of life is actually a reflection of upbringing.


I have seen a piece of news.

in a bookstore in Shenzhen, a well-dressed wife cursed a little girl for more than ten minutes.

what on earth happened that made the lady so angry?

it turned out that it was the wife who brought the children to the bookstore, but the children were so noisy that they affected the reading of the people around them.

A little girl was bothered by the noise while she was writing her paper, so she whispered a few reminders.

the lady pounded the table angrily and scolded the little girl for meddling.

also boasted that her husband was an associate professor and dressed in famous brands, which the little girl could not catch up with.

this news reminds me of a "Duck effect" in psychology, which says that people with lower quality are more likely to have an inexplicable sense of superiority.

people who are really elegant never show off their superiority. they are low-key, modest, gentle and powerful.

there is a Zhuangnu in Taiwan who is known as the "saint of ci." he wrote more than 80% of Teresa Teng's works.

when a reporter interviewed him and wanted to flatter him, he said, "without you, there would be no Teresa Teng. You are her best teacher."

Zhuangnu shook his head again and again:

"Teresa Teng's success is the result of her own efforts. If other people wrote songs for her, she would have succeeded, too.

without her, there would be no Zhuangnu. I'm just a lyricist. I don't know how to sing and can't be her teacher. "

people with a rich heart never write a sense of superiority on their face.

they don't show off what they have achieved, what kind of life they live, and what kind of people they have seen.

because they don't need to elevate themselves by belittling others.


JK Rowling, author of Harry Potter, once said:

I think so.

A person may have a good attitude in the face of superiors and dignitaries, because it is related to his interests.

and when a person, whether up or down, can be gentle and courteous, is the true nobility.

Zhihu netizen @ Lu Hanbing once talked about her experience.

once, she visited a colleague at home.

she is the head of the department, and that colleague is her subordinate.

A colleague hired a babysitter, but the babysitter was old and had some inconvenience.

colleagues chatted with her while laughing, while instructing the old nanny to do this and that from time to time, the old babysitter was busy, looking frightened.

at parting, an accident occurred and Lu Hanbing saw another face of her colleague.

after my colleague found that the glass table was wet with fruit, the old babysitter did not scrub with toothpaste as she asked.

then he flew into a rage and said viciously, "wipe it with toothpaste three times!" Until you can see your shadow! "

the old babysitter brought toothpaste from the bathroom, but accidentally knocked over the washbasin and tripped to the ground.

my colleague didn't even move her eyelids, but turned around and said goodbye to Lu Hanbing with a smile.

at that moment, Lu Hanbing shivered and alienated her from then on.

as one writer said, "your attitude towards the weak is your upbringing."

A cultured person is not proud at the top and not humble at the bottom.

will not instruct the cleaning aunt at will, will not dictate to the takeout boy, and will not treat people who are inferior to themselves.

but with compassion, respect, understanding and fraternity.

only such people can gain the long-term favor and trust of others.


writer Yu Qiuyu lived in Germany for a short time.

he found a house, felt very good, and planned to sign a contract with the landlord.

but the old man temporarily stopped him: "you haven't lived yet, you don't know whether it's good or bad, sign a trial contract first, and then decide whether to rent a long time after you have experienced it."

Yu Qiuyu signed a short contract for five days. Five days later, Yu Qiuyu was very satisfied and was ready to sign a long contract with the old man.

accidentally, he broke a glass and hastened to call the old man to apologize.

the old man said magnanimously, "never mind, you didn't mean to. I'll bring a new one tomorrow."

the next day, as soon as the old man entered the door, he asked where the cup was. Yu Qiuyu pointed to the garbage bag at the door and said it was there.

after looking through the garbage bags, the old man said gloomily, "I won't rent the house to you."

Yu Qiuyu was surprised: "did I break the cup and upset you?"

the old man said, "No, because there is no one else in your heart."

then, the old man poured out the contents of the garbage bag, collected the pieces of glass one by one, put them in a box, and put them outside with a penIt wrote: "this is glass, dangerous!"

Yu Qiuyu watched, blushing instantly.

what is upbringing? This is upbringing. No matter what you do, you always think of the people around you.

when throwing rubbish, think about whether it is convenient for garbage collectors;

when driving on rainy days, think about whether stagnant water will splash on people by the side of the road;

when entering the gate, think about whether it will hit the people behind you.

it is not difficult to have a good upbringing. It is an excellent practice to put yourself in other people's shoes and compare your heart to heart.


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especially like what GE Zong said:

upbringing is very big, but what you do is actually small things.

below I write some details that are reflected in daily life, of course it is impossible to be comprehensive, wherever I want to write.

1. Respect other people's differences, even if you don't understand their behavior at all.

2. With others, don't always talk about your unique side and restrain your sense of superiority.

3. Don't pry into other people's private affairs, let alone publicize them everywhere.

4. Don't be too emotional when dealing with people, and don't put on a bad face when you are unhappy.

5. If you ask someone a question and they don't answer you, don't ask the bottom of the casserole.

6. Respect different preferences and don't judge what others like. No matter how good your taste is, it's your own.

7. When communicating with people, don't interrupt others at will, don't be expressionless all the time, don't keep your eyes wandering.

8. Pay attention to maintain social distance, do not casually pat people on the shoulder, do not be too close to other people's body.

9. Be sure to reply to Wechat or text messages sent to you. It's okay to be a little later.

10. When waiters, couriers and takeouts provide services for you, please say thank you.


if you have anything to add, you are welcome to write it in the message area. I will collect it and quote it next time I write.