The top 10 behaviors that parents most hurt their children have been exposed: how easy is it to raise or abolish a child?

/July 2022

after having children, parents chat together and often complain: "Today's children are becoming more and more rebellious and disobedient."

is it really difficult for children to control?

psychologist Chen Mo said:

when we hold our heads high, everything about our children is so "noisy" and "unpleasing to the eye".

We can't understand the wonderful ideas in his mind;

We can't hear the subtext in his mood;

We can't read the deep meaning in his micro-expression;

Mr. Feng Zikai, a master of modern Chinese comics, has used cartoons to point out the "causes" of these education, but decades later, he has not been cured.

if we savor his paintings carefully, we will find that we used to be children in the painting, but now we are the parents in the painting.


the mother in the picture

blows air into the child's belly button, regardless of the child's frown and pain, hoping that the child can grow up overnight.

sounds absurd and cruel, but we've all done it before.

the child is still a toddler, so we eagerly pull him to start running.

We wish he could not understand the problems until the fifth grade.

since the baby was born, we anxiously hope that he will grow up quickly, but forget that growing up is a "slow" process.

read a passage:

"I sat on the stone steps shining in the setting sun and watched the clear-eyed child concentrate on one thing."

Yes, I would like to wait a lifetime for him to tie up the butterfly calmly with his five-year-old fingers. "

every child's growth has its own time track.

trust your children, allow them to take their time, and all the waiting will not be disappointed.


Children are not a "product" on an assembly line

when education begins to have a unified template and standard answers, it is not far from stifling children's creativity.

once heard a saying:

but in fact, we have become the latter.

in children's world, the sky can be pink, sunflowers can be square, cat and mouse can be good friends.

but in the standard answer, it's all wrong.

the standard answer for adults often leaves children's imagination in the cold.

when we train children as "products" on the production line, the finished products have the same "design and color". Although they are harmonious and beautiful, they lose the splendor that they should have.

if education cannot be taught in accordance with their aptitude, the child will eventually lose his "name", leaving only a unified code name.


the greatest sadness of education

is to train the child to become a learning machine

We are not the mother in the cartoon, pressing the child's head to study hard and forcing him to get more scores.

on the surface, the child seems to be working hard, but in fact he is like a piece of driftwood pulled. He only knows where the direction is, but he doesn't know why he wants to go there.

once watched an interview video, the host asked a pupil: "do you think learning is important?"

the student said, "my mother thinks it is important."

from the helpless look in the child's eyes, we can see that he has no passion and desire for learning at all, but only accomplishes the task in a coping manner, so as to meet the expectations of his parents.

when a child does something but follows the wishes of others and is forced to accept it under pressure and oppression, he is likely not to be happy and grow from it.

spoon-feeding education, oppressive education, seems to fill children's heads with knowledge, but in fact deprives them of the ability to think independently.

once heard a saying: "Education is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a fire."

stimulate the child's subjective initiative and ignite the child's desire for knowledge, and the child's potential is far beyond our imagination.


your urge forces the child to deviate from the track

this kind of picture often appears in life. The mother moves forward quickly, urging the child: "can you hurry up?"

in fact, the child dragged by his mother is already sweating.

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the child is physically and mentally exhausted, but the parents still feel that the child is not working hard.

once read the news that a child in the third year of junior high school, whose scores in a monthly exam dropped, was said by his parents and finally jumped off a building and committed suicide.

the last straw that kills the child is not the parents' last words, but the countless sentences that have been repeated, "you run quickly, don't fall behind."

We lead our children at the speed of adults, but ignore their needs and limits.