The four most advanced ways to deal with accidents (benefit a lot)

when getting along with others, I believe we all have a common feeling.

some people can make people feel like spring breeze with just a few simple words;

while others talk bluntly, making people feel uncomfortable as soon as they open their mouth, and want to escape quickly.

Human feelings are sophisticated, which is a profound knowledge.

A wise person knows the "routine" of getting along with others: achieving his goal while the other person is comfortable.

as an old saying goes:

in interpersonal communication, you can't just focus on your own comfort, especially in the following four times, you must be more "tricks".

01

Zhuangzi said:people with high EQ know how to respect differences and do not make unnecessary accusations.

Liu Cixin tells a story about the multiverse in Fiber.

the man is a space pilot.

once while on a mission, he accidentally fell into a "wormhole" and entered a "transit station" in another universe.

here, the hero meets a lot of people who fall into the "wormhole" like him.

they gathered together, waiting to be repatriated.

in the conversation, the man found that although everyone said he was from the earth.

but the feelings are different:

some say that the earth is pink;

some say that there are two moons in the sky;

some say they want to hurry back to watch the live sports in Rome;

some say that ancient Rome has already become history.

they argued so fiercely that none of them could persuade the other.

later, after the explanation of the transporter, everyone gradually learned the truth: it turned out that everyone came from different time and space, and everyone's earth was different.

it is difficult to understand each other's feelings because of their different positions and circumstances.

A little thing in your eyes can be a devastating blow to others.

I have seen a thought-provoking story.

A pig, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral.

once, the owner came in to catch the pig.

the pig howled and rebelled violently.

sheep and cattle hate its cry.

accused in disgust: "you are exaggerating, the master often comes to catch us, and we have not made a fuss."

Pig answered:

"it's two different things for the master to catch you and me."

he only wants your hair and milk, but if he catches me, he will kill me! "

after hearing this, sheep and cattle were silent.

everything happens for a reason.

not judging others by yourself is the greatest kindness to the people around you.

what we can do is not to think of ourselves as the protagonist of the world.

A journey of life, everyone has their own scenery.

if you don't know about other people's lives, please don't criticize at will.

the world can be clean only if we take different positions, don't express them in a hurry, and respect differences.

02

when you get along with your family, you should talk more about feelings

see a question on Zhihu:

A high-praise answer is impressive:

Home should not be a place for reasoning, but a paradise for spreading love.

the nagging of "chatter" is never as good as the understanding of "empathy".

Modi tells the touching story of Modi and her husband Fret.

due to changes, Modi, the hostess, is in foster care with her aunt.

but she doesn't want to cling to her aunt all the time and wants to live an independent life.

one day, Modi happened to see an advertisement for Fret looking for a babysitter.

she successfully applied for the job and fell in love with Fret during her long-term contact.

the two are married.

Modi likes painting and hopes that her husband can buy her more paint when he goes out.

at first, her husband not only turned a deaf ear to her, but also accused her of not cleaning up well enough.

the husband turned a blind eye to the loneliness on Modi's face.

one side expects to be understood, while the other is nagging.

this kind of communication will only get the intimate relationship into trouble.

later, Modi came up with an idea.

because her husband can't read, Modi began to teach him to keep accounts and manage the fish business better together.

when they talk to each other, their relationship is getting better and better.

slowly, the husband also began to stand in Modi's position and understand her feelings.

in addition to buying a lot of paint for Modi, she also sells her paintings every time she sells fish.

some people say:

A partner with high EQ will never stay on the surface of life.

feel each other's heart with your heart so that you can grow together in love.

in intimate relationships, the "great truth" can not build up "good feelings".

only by understanding each other can we maintain long-term happiness.

03

when it is useless to speak bluntly, there is a saying in Daojing:

it means that the truth of heaven and earth is expressed in words, which is not the original truth.

the truth spoken is easy to deviate from the facts.

A shrunken sermon is never as good as empathy.

Yang Tianzhen, who is known as the "first broker"Once admitted that he was questioned by a lot of people when he was making plus-size women's clothes.

in order to express her original intention, she spent a lot of breath and made a lot of sense.

for example:

"Beauty is diverse, and fat girls also have the right to enjoy beauty;

Beauty is widespread, and plus-size women's wear is also a kind of fashion."

however, repeated explanations make the skepticism louder.

until she recruited a group of plus-size girl models online and posted a short video.

people's judgment and controversy about her took a turn for the better.

not long after the video was released, Yang Tianzhen received many warm messages from strange girls.

one after another expressed the hope that she would continue to do it: "you are right. Beauty has no grades and no boundaries."

the sincerity and love emitted from them deeply infected many people.

everyone's criticism gradually faded away.

there is a good saying: "what others see is shoes, what they feel is feet."

language is never meant to express profound meaning, but to express one's heart.

words, let us see things, and personal experience, let us see people.

when it is useless to speak bluntly, learn to think differently.

when you get along with others, abundant preaching is the least interesting part.

integrating words and deeds with truth is the way of life with high EQ.

04

when it is difficult to speak clearly, use actions

Tsinghua school motto:

"actions speak louder than words". This is the spirit of Tsinghua University and the standard of life.

Huang Yongyu, who is known as the "old urchin of the painting world", is such a personable artist.

Huang Yongyu grew up in the ancient city of Phoenix in western Hunan. When he was a child, he had a strong affection for his hometown.

after he became famous, he decided to speak for his hometown.

so, in his old age, he held a personal painting exhibition in his hometown, donated money for his alma mater, and raised funds to build bridges and pave the way.

try my best to cheer for the development of my hometown.

however, the more famous he is, the more skeptical he will be.

some of his peers even scolded him: "to make a false name, to accumulate wealth, and to be unkind."

Huang Yongyu did not make any response to the query.

instead, he published three of his works in succession in the major media:

the first picture shows a dog with a mouse in its mouth.

Huang Yongyu was originally a rat, but this self-metaphor pun made the abuser tremble with anger.

the second picture shows a talkative parrot, insinuating those who scold others, and can only play poor tongues.

the third picture shows an old man who is not angry and arrogant, next to it: "if people scold me, I also scold others."

Huang Yongyu fights back forcefully with vivid strokes and humorous metaphors.

up to now, Father Huang Yongyu is still contributing to the development of his hometown.

and those who hurl abuse have long disappeared.

the best way to dispel misunderstandings is not to argue with them, but to prove them.

Schopenhauer said:

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it is easier said than done, no matter how much truth is empty talk.

people who really have high EQ never speak useless truth, but practice themselves by action.

in life, one less eloquent mouth, more broken and daring heart, can live thoroughly.

Rousseau said:

people with high EQ do not stick to formality.

rely on everything, never simply preach.

taking different positions and not blaming casually is a kind of respect; when family members get along with each other, it is a kind of understanding that they do not fight according to reason;

it is a kind of leniency to say bluntly when it is useless, and it is a kind of self-cultivation not to slander maliciously when they do not argue.

for the rest of my life, I would like to be a person with high EQ, treat others comfortably and do things sincerely.

keep your heart and body steady.

fighting with the world for many years, it is still warm and fresh.