The bigger the pattern, the happier the family.

/July 2022

what is success?

when people reach a certain age, when they see the truth of life and get used to the cold world, they will find that real success is family happiness.

and whether a family is happy or not depends largely on the pattern of people.


the pattern of the husband,

determines the wife's happiness.

A good marriage can never be achieved without a man with a pattern.

Mr. Ba Jin, a writer, is a man with a big pattern.

Ba Jin is 13 years older than his wife Xiao Shan, so there are bound to be disagreements.

after 28 years of marriage, they have hardly ever quarreled or blushed once in a real sense.

Ba Jin will silently choose to support what Xiao Shan wants to do and never interfere.

in Ba Jin's eyes, Xiao Shan will always be the "little girl" with big eyes, kind heart and gentle character.

Xiao Shan once affectionately confessed Ba Jin:

"my eyes follow you forever." I will always have you in my heart. Do you know how happy I am to accompany you on this journey? "

words are full of joy and happiness that cannot be concealed.

A man with a large pattern has hills in his chest, respects his wife, recognizes his wife, and loves his wife.

will not get angry because of trifles;

can tolerate and accommodate, instead of complaining, blaming and criticizing his wife everywhere;

will not pretend to be deaf and dumb in the face of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but will generously stand up to rescue;

know how to feel sorry for his wife's hard work and take the initiative to share the housework, but will not feel that this is the wife's duty.

the pattern of men determines not only the height of the family, but also the happiness of the wife.

if you marry a man with a big pattern, he will wander in the warm sun of happiness to be cared for and respected for the rest of his life.


the pattern of the wife,

determines the height of the husband's career.

Buffett once said:

"the most important investment in my life is not which stock I bought, but who I chose to be my partner."

if a man wants to make a breakthrough in his career, there must be a woman with vision and pattern behind him.

the pattern of wife determines not only the direction of a family, but also the height of a man's career.

"Ghost Director" Ning Hao can be said to be one of the representatives of Chinese comedy films and one of the most charismatic directors leading the Lunar New year festival.

Ning Hao's fame is closely related to the great pattern of his wife Xing Aina.

with the encouragement of his friends, Ning Hao wanted to switch from an entertainment journalist to a director and went to ask his wife Xing Aina for advice.

Xing Aina saw Ning Hao's talent in directing and immediately replied:

"of course I support you. I'll count it tomorrow to see how much savings we have now and whether it's enough for you to make a film."

so his wife gave 150000 of her savings to Ning Hao and made the first film, incense.

"incense" won the Best feature Film Award at Tokyo Ginza Film Festival and the Gold Award for DV Digital Unit at the 25th Hong Kong International Film Festival.

but apart from the awards, the film doesn't make any money.

Ning Hao was a little discouraged.

in order not to frustrate her husband, Xing Aina encouraged

"although these two awards cannot be eaten or drunk, they are worth it." Some things can not be calculated with money, this is intangible capital. If there is to be a return, there must be an investment. "

with the encouragement of his wife, Ning Hao started shooting the second film "Green Grass." at the end of filming, there was no money. Xing Aina went to borrow 100000 yuan from her parents to help Ning Hao tide over the difficulties.

"Green Grass" still won a lot of awards, but the money invested was eventually confiscated and lost another sum.

later, Ning Hao shot the famous film Crazy Stone, a film with only 3 million investment, which earned more than 100 million at the national box office, and Ning Hao has been famous ever since.

after I became famous, Ning Hao affectionately confessed to his wife:

"movies make me successful, and movies make me poor, but Aina has never made a scene with me.

although I am poor, I am so poor that I still have a wife who cannot be measured by money. "

if the wife is short-sighted, no matter how good the man is, he will gradually become more mediocre because he is not supported.

A man's career is half successful with the full support of his wife.

without Lin Huijia's support, Ang Lee could not have been a "cook" for six years, let alone become a major director with global influence.

without Yang Jiang's understanding and tolerance, Qian Zhongshu could not have completely ignored the housework, assiduously studied and become a literary master.

A man who has the understanding and support of his wife is more likely to succeed in his career.

if the wife pattern is not enough, no matter what the man does, the wife will hinder him in every way, making it impossible for the man to move.

while the wife is large, the man can work hard without distractions, and the more likely he is to be good.


the pattern of parents,

determines the end of children's life.

someone in Zhihu once asked, "does the pattern of parents have a great impact on their children?"

the highly praised answer is: "very big, whether parents are positive or negative has a great impact on their children."

the pattern of parents often determines the fate of their children.

Hu Shineng became a member of the Republic of China, which was closely related to the great pattern of his mother.

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at that time, many parents did not pay attention to their children's study, and most of them were sent to school to learn some ancient Chinese.

but Hu Shi's mother does not do so. she feels that her son must receive a good education in order to make a difference.

therefore, when Hu Shi was a child, his mother did not hesitate to pay more and asked the teacher to explain Hu Shi word for word. Be sure to let Hu Shi recite the ancient prose on the basis of understanding it, instead of memorizing it by rote.

when Hu Shi grew up, his mother did not hesitate to sell his family property and sent Hu Shi to a new school in Shanghai to receive a new education.

it was his mother's extraordinary pattern and knowledge that Hu Shi studied all the way and finally became a professor at Peking University and a leading figure in the New Culture Movement.

is not unique.

Zeng Guofan's education for his children also has a big pattern.

at a time when many people scoff at Western culture, Zeng Guofan has already hired an English teacher to teach English for his son Zeng Jize.

later, Zeng Jize was quite appreciated by the Empress Dowager Cixi because he could speak fluent English, and granted him full authority to handle the affairs of Yili in Xinjiang.

in this foreign affairs, with his excellent understanding of the West, Zeng Jize defended the interests of the court in the negotiations and became the most famous diplomat in China at that time.

many people say, "Don't let your child lose at the starting line."

in fact, the pattern of parents is the biggest starting line for children.

the larger the pattern of parents, the more children can stand on a higher starting point and go longer in life.

Franklin also said:

"people who are plagued by poor thinking, if they are not strong enough, will eventually pass it on to the next generation."

the most terrible thing about a family is not the lack of money, but the parents' shortsightedness.

those children who have strength at heart, confident and calm, often stand behind their parents with a big pattern.


Moore has a good saying:

"A man travels all over the world to find what he needs, and when he comes home, he finds it."

A happy family is inseparable from a husband who understands and cares for his wife;

from a wife who is reasonable and supportive; and

is inseparable from a pair of parents with broad horizons and long-term vision.

the general pattern is the best feng shui for a family.